Serenity

Photo by Javardh on Unsplash

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about.”
― Rumi

    The fight is within. The fight is in accepting that everything is not in one's control. Neither I have to be blamed for everything nor I have to be absolved. Some say intention matters, if that's the case mine was never impure. I need not submit to any single philosophy, logic, idea fully but sometime the way forward is to lean onto any idea that just reduces the chaos and brings about peace. It may not be the most constructive or romantic way, but might be suitable in practical reality.

 

Same Place... Same Time...

A simple facade.
Courtesy: Alexandre Dulaunoy on Flickr | License: CC BY-SA 2.0

(originally posted on Facebook) 

Red Stripes: Duh, ugly face sits in front of me, checking me out sheepishly :$ :$ :$..

Blue Tee: *not caring, checks her out* : Huh! Another one out of school, (needy) tags a guy, flaunting her ladies...*turns around, looks on the other side* Black cat is grace, big lively eyes dancing... capture her, hold the stance and she goes... ah.. livid, elegant, mesmerizing...

Red Stripes: Vulture, uncouth... learn to dress and sit, (you) shit-face, eating mouthful!...

Blue Tee: *defiantly...*: Jealous? Robbing the guy of his pocket money... I still prefer the lady ;) She is my new crush, for next 2 years (may be)... You notwithstanding!!! *laughs illiterate*

Red Stripes: *downs a glass of water, distances from his guy, visibly fuming*: Asshole, u hoe! U r a nobody…

Blue Tee: *loses interest, falls in love*: Flowing hair, shapely curves, enthusiastic smile…
Living a virgin? Sure…
Ain’t got no gf? No…
It’s plain, nobody loves you... Right, me too searching for “nobody”…
*snaps… those pink lips*

Black Cat: *batters eyes, throws hands in air*: I know you looking at me… I don’t mind, but keep your distance please

Blue Tee: *acknowledging*: I understand, just be serene…

Black Cat: *leans into Curly Hairs, The guy won’t learn…* : Stalking?

Blue Tee: *guessing…*: Umm… No, just trying… Romantic?

Black Cat: *been there, done that*: I am serious business, not romantic!

Blue Tee: *smells the food, yummy! Worth a lick…*: I see. Want to ask… When will you girls loose the mommy feeling? Such a big crowd surrounds you like barbed fences…

Red Stripes: *taking interest*: This seems interesting…

Black Cat: *smiling inwardly*: Big prizes are never easy… Upgrade, be a human… Before the animal stint…

Blue Tee: *slight serious, yet not losing it, recovers… smiles*: I understand. I appreciate. But madness (love) can be a solo trip… *turns back, checks Red Stripes* she still beats you, any day…

Red Stripes: *calm and relaxed, more composed than ever*: It’s OK… Go on…

Black Cat: *stands up, to leave. Turns around, tying her hair, greetings…*: Time to leave… Nice time… You will learn

Blue Tee: *not blinking his eyes, continues to stare. Silence ensues…*

Black Cat: *walks beside Blue Tee… No words… Look nice… The last glance probably*

Curly Hair: *jumps into the air, loud to the crowd…*: Bye! Bye! See you tomorrow…

Blue Tee: *wide eyed… amazed…*: Same place??? Same Time???

Red Stripes: *on looking, laughing…*: Cheap!!! Are you for real?

*Silence follows… Fan’s noise… Fun continues… Hopefully!*

Jawahar Kala Kendra, Jaipur

8PM, 21/08/2012, Tuesday

Season Break

Image courtesy : Foxtongue on Flickr, check usage terms before using the image.

It's not vacations neither their duration, it is the season that makes the things sick. Prolonged winters, that's it. A sudden numbness spreads over the whole terrain, despite the sun shining bright, sky being blue and the grass being green it seems as if everything has come to a standstill. Life seems stale and everyone wishes to create ripples by doing some activity. But as soon as get hold of the things, once again a dam of troubles comes in between. None gives up and mounts an attack and doesn't try to flee. Soon things will open up, mist will clear and spring flowers will be there to cheer masses, the every bit of it. For the time being we can get cosy, wear that blanket and extend our sleeps and treat us unconscious yet deliberate dreams from our vivid memories.

Dogs And The Family

Image courtesy : Manik. An old family picture depicting 'Robin' in it with Guddu. All Right Reserved

My family, oh extended family i.e. me, dad, mom, Guddu,Shivani and hundreds of others spread over the whole country have had some special associations with the quadruple species called "dog".

My knowledge about the family tradition of loving dogs tells me that the hobby has roots with my grandpa's brother being fond of this loyalist breed. He is said to have certain flings with at least 2 of the species. They were named 'Kalu' and 'Sheru'. Going by some trustworthy sources 'Sheru' jumped off the roof the day uncle died and later died of hunger, he denied any food not being able to cope with the loss.

After uncle's death the next dog to enter the clan was 'Robin'. This one is the most famous till date as all of us have been associated with him at some point or the other. We all were fond of this brown chap as it will roam around and respond graciously to every call. But like almost all good things, this one met a tragic end with some asshole poisoning him to death on an evening when most members of the family were busy doing different things.

Something called 'Robert' was roped in to fill the space. But it essentially failed to build any rapport and was not popular among the young turks of the house and soon abandoned the house.

'Panther' now joined the family and got reputed as a dog who would bark only on the known family members and strangers were always welcome for him. He got a twin called 'Ceaser' which was gifted to a friend family and later proved to be much more energetic, healthy and agile. 'Panther' later was able to build happy bonds with family, mostly due to longer acquaintance and familiarity. 'Panther' met a natural end.

Cousins in my mom's sister's family had two dogs called 'Tommy' and 'Popo'. Cousin was extremely fond of both the dogs. She didn't eat for three days when 'Tommy' died. It had jumped off first floor parapet. 'Popo' was able to fill in the space very quickly and became part of the family rapidly. But it too met an end which was not natural and caused hurt to many in the family.

Till date I come across stories of various dogs. One such thing lives just across my street and I learn that it was cause of police being called after a fight broke out between 2 families because of him. I am told that this dog lives luxuriously, enjoying blankets, mattresses, and devoted love from his owner...

Hope

Image Courtesy : mindfullness , on Flickr. Check usage terms here!

A bright and focussed shaft of light tears smog and dust filled air, while a whole orchestra blocks major part of it. An exceptional contrast is visualised. A whole spectrum of dark lies in front of an explosive brightness. Providing us a crude sense of depth, the third dimension and thereby completing the visual experience. Small dust particles continue to float and vibrate through the air.

Suddenly the instruments start playing, in perfect sync but without any external help. A stick would beat drums while 3 guitars are strum. Keys dance on the keyboard and mike would rotate around the stage as synthesizers explode their best.

You close your eyes, everything fades, silence prevails and a shock-wave follows sweeping everything clean and clear and virtually refreshed for new experiences, beatings, strums and expressions. Sharpness moderates and eyes are able to stare normal and decipher the visible spectrum, the same orchestra is seen once again...

This time green tendrils creep up the stabilizing bars while red and pink flowers blossom listening to mild melancholic and sedative music that originates from the very same devices. Bright blue sky completes the backdrop where the horizon meets the sky in beautiful embrace. Kissing each other in a passion that ceases to emancipate.

This is how hope continues to thrive, for both the aspects - the heads and the tails! Technically and mystically sugar-coated as - "a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen."

Time To School

Image courtesy : mckaysavage on Flickr, check usage terms before using the image.

Admissions? Not for me. I have completed my schooling and currently pursuing graduation degree, so not a case with me, lest I make mind for a master's degree which going by my current thinking patterns and requirements is highly unlikely. Coming to the actual story, when your cousins are married and have nice families (I mean kids), it is inevitable for you to visit them - for society's sake and sometime you too like to communicate with kids 17 years younger. And when you visit them you learn that these days admissions are no cake walk, parents got to pass interviews, try to live as near as possible to the school they wish their kid to study in, a girl child is always preferred in schools!

In case you thought you had tough time getting admitted to your college a year or two ago consider this -
to get admission in a school in Delhi for 2010 session procedure begins from Dec 15' 2009 and continues till March 31 next year. Parents can fill in forms till Jan 15 and schools will scrutinize them till Jan 30. First list of successful candidates will be put up on Feb 01 and they are then free to party, which is defined as getting prepared for the session which begins 2 months later on April 01 - babies ageing between 2 and 3/4 years and 4 need to dress up proper; white shirts, grey tunics, properly worn socks and black-polished bellies! Accessories can be anything like red-yellow tiffins, sip-from-the-tube water bottles. Assorted collection of glossy magazines, books, glittery pencil boxes and flashy notebooks are all indicators of level of accomplishment of child's family! All right! Schools too are not spared from the gruesome schedules and are pushed hard to limits with 2nd, 3rd and 4th lists following latest by March 15.

As I see the kid in front of me. I wonder how they so easily get accustomed to the routines of waking up early to catch that 6:30 am bus to a school 1 hour drive from their home and then mingle with all the small heads their. There would be regular morning swarms of properly uniformed kids, gathering for an assembly. And at the home same 3-something would quite innocently yell that she desires to grow her hair long! Its nice to revise those Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck days with this new breed, I tell you it is refreshing even for me! And the naming exercise for the kid continues even after 3 years of the birth, providing the parents with activities that keep them from being bored, at least so it seems on the outside.

Innately, unknowingly and somewhat in agreement to our happiness the environments, facilities, situations and several such things beyond our control and many a time object of our curse have been successful in carving us into citizens who are positive, good and think responsibly for the future that lies ahead...

Bank Job

Image courtesy : Studio494 (Simon) on Flickr, check usage terms before using the image.

Happened to visit the bank for something I lost out of 'memory troubles', sometime back. I forgot my e-banking password, and got to apply for a new one as I find it of excellent utility.

The job is a regular procedure, but I many a time consider forgetting password often as I like Nangal Raya branch of State Bank very much. People here are accomplished, talented, patient, talkative, regular, cheerful and many more things! More precisely they are outrageously opposite to my personality and therefore magnetic to me.

There is another uncanny observation that I made, environment is always bright and luke warm when I visit this place. Sky is azure, exactly the way it should be, mild wind makes leaves rattle against each other, honk of an approaching car shakes you out of your day-dream, rag-picking girls at that construction site remind you that something still needs to be taken care of, but the regular activities in market just across that traffic signal assure you that order still prevails.

On the whole you have no reason to repent deliberately missing that bus to your destination and opting for a 2 km walk instead (one side only, downside story has been omitted to maintain readability).

Mango Pickle

Image courtesy : madpai on Flickr, check usage terms before using the image.

A sudden jerk shakes containers that lie parked in yard at Hazrat Nizammudin railway station in Delhi. The 6 year old is inquisitive figuring out which of the two trains, one in which he is sitting or the goods train beside, is moving.

Soon he is more interested in the mango pickle, that his Mama got packed in the tiffin for the night. He is not very much interested in the food, but mango pickle is his favourite; even with the sore throat. He prevents both his Mama and Dad from having even a single piece of vitamin A and C rich delicacy. He literally enters into quarrel with mamu, who incidentally happens to be his another favourite and very fondly pats him on the back even to this date.

Night passes calmly in that train berth with yellow flickering lights and noisy fans. The morning dawns bright and lanky kid continues to stick his head at the window rail while vendors continue to scream to make a living. He is adamant and continues to take notes of descending numbers, 267/45, 267/44, 267/43... that appear on each passing pole on this route to Indore city in the state of Madhya Pradesh.

At Nagda junction, the engine would shunt and train would move in reverse direction after a break of about 20 minute. Mamu would use this opportunity to prank the guy that the driver is annoyed so we are returning back and the guy would still be happy thinking it to be another opportunity to be in the train for 12 more hours. Meanwhile train would gather pace and switch tracks rapidly, producing melanchonic music of its own kind.

Guy sticks his head out again and this time will exclaim with bright glowing eyes that a diesel engine is pulling the train, unlike the electric locomotive in the morning. He always liked it when the snail like train took a long curve, blowing dirt from rubble clad tracks in the Malwa plateau region. An ecstatic yellow milk drink at Ujjain made this 850 km long journey worth it and a temple sits graciously atop the hill just outside Dewas city, famous for a Reserve Bank Of India printing facility. Indore is an altogether different story, a ride in Premier Padmini, with a PAL logo decorating its steering, to Massi's place is an unparalleled luxury...

The story is not complete but journey part is over and what remains is more sugary!

Avial Is The Daddy!

Image courtesy : code poet on Flickr, check usage terms before using the image.

Hmm, I found the daddy! In my last post, I missed some points that I wished to write about Avial, this Kerala born rock band, and so I continue today! The whole day with nothing much to do I was listening to rock music and downloading the stuff, probably this is my way of acknowledging that they do good work!

Well what I missed yesterday? I missed what I can term as spontaneous visual imagery (even I am yet to figure out what that actually is, but it sounds pretty cool and hip to many tech maniacs out there)! So here I go, I see a Tarzan like athletic personality jumping across the stage grinding its hips to tunes of rock music. A lungi clad bald entertainer enthrals the crowds as the chaotic stage fade into serene backwaters of Kerala. He makes mic subject of his attention while he performs some sort of pole dance and my mind suggests me alternatives ranging from metro handles to trees in lagoons in the state of Kerala. In more wilder fantasies I visualise him circling traffic signals at mind-boggling speeds. Soon a Chinese add-on joins him and the imagery now features a dragon to complete the scene, with background music having slight tones of land of Chowmein!

Oh the guy seems to be putting a lot of energy in keeping the whole band going and he definitely succeeds! This was the first year of the event and if it continues to happen on more occasions I promise myself more delightful treats of this kind and wonder if they would be jumping into the crowd itself in their coming performances...

Chained Liberty

Image courtesy : Morning Magician on Flickr, check usage terms before using the image.

It simply seems horrendous, with so many resources and liberty at my disposal I can act a fool and not succeed! I simply continue to consume and abuse the powers that lie with me. I continue to be shameless and not leave the greed. The mask continues to separate me from the truth, it stops me from attaining what should be procured. I continue to chain myself, poison my own purity and further dilute it, to fall and be one amongst the common! I punish myself for the unknown, meanwhile corrupting what was destined to be nonpareil.

Simply the basic idea of many and most superheroes before they realise what they are made of and what defines them! The thoughts occur to me after watching Batman Begins and Batman : The Dark Knight, salute Joker!

The guy who loves to put smiles across the faces and wears a purple coat while making us believe that he is a psycho, truly captivates the imagination and deserves lauds a thousand times.

Revival, Resurrection!

Image courtesy : Jon's pics on Flickr, check usage terms before using the image.

A face with wind blowing curls on it, two beady eyes play hide and seek as a jumbo takes off the tarmac in distance and a partially grounded fleet of Jet Airways and Indian is seen amidst variants of Antonovs, Boings and Airbuses. Sun is trying to dawn through clouds after about 5 days as vendors of books, travel manuals and other miniscule articles try to woo passengers in the bus. The guy got excellent communication skills acquired somewhat out of need and partially because at some level he is far more habitual of practicing marketing tactics. The bus has moved some 10 kms and now giant flyovers are providing shade from piercing sunlight.

I have grown more familiar to the face now and we are forming a sort of ‘short friendship’ which will last only till the end of this journey. The 3 feet creature has got nails painted, is wearing pink slippers, yellow lower and a white tee. It has tried once to come to my seat and sit beside me, but soon ran away and I don’t know why!

As the kid turns a bit dormant after having lunch and its father geting busy on calls, I look around and find 2 girls busy chatting and of course the small kid beats me easily when it comes to charming the chicks. You rock buddy! The firang on back seat, to my left is a rather aloof being and probably cares not at all that his luggage lies with the driver in cabin. Having eaten a mom-made Parantha, I am more aware of importance of these people in my life. And find need of expressing myself in more human and visible ways.

Had charged my laptop to enjoy a movie on way back, but the beautiful scenery, lovely wind and sunshine holds me back. Getting images of school picnic days when we would sit in bus seats and enjoy snacks and goodies friends brought, especially the one the girl who usually grabbed a seat before me shared with us.

The guys on seat behind me have started to play some dull Hindi music, which does not suit the environment right. At the same time another thought tells me that mixing different colours produces excellent paintings or some might like vanilla ice-cream in thumbs-up bottle!

Though am solo in the bus people still occupy my mind, what are they actually? Names, Facebook profiles or something that really matter! The kid has got refuge in it’s father’s lap and is busy playing with his glasses as I am taking time to keep some matters at bay and cope my ownself.

Last leg of journey, hilly climes of Amer are there. It is cool weather, but usual dumbness of evenings is profound. May be it is transition from fast paced Delhi life to extremely numb Jaipur one, that takes toll. Anyways kid has found another admirer in the firang, who is trying to amuse the kid, who seems extremely fond of standing in bus and is in hurry to reach Jaipur, impatient just like me! Having bunked for 2 consecutive weeks, classes seem alien to me and thoughts of pending submissions are rather scary. The developments of design and web-development front have been ego boosters. Have to put serious efforts to keep things in control and on track! Signing off. :D :) :/ :$

A Colourful Power Cut

00:54 IST, Aug 04’ 2009.

A power cut leaves whole of NIT Jaipur campus in dark. Wi-Fi routers go numb rendering 3.5 hours of battery backup of my laptop useless. I have no option but to look out for traditional means of entertainment  called Radio. In Jaipur the 5 odd stations are serving ill quality of music, mostly very low tone oldies. I plug-in my earphones and move out of hostel to have a stroll, while my friend asks to sit back in the lawn and share the ear-plugs.

Outside the hostel vast darkness spreads over whole of the campus, everything has turned greyscale bathing in bright white moonlight. You can catch nice views all around the campus as there are few things to obstruct the view. Under the star-studded sky you find red-lights flickering atop the newly built high-rises dotting the skyline of city all-around the NIT campus.
Walking on the roads in campus, you find a few solar battery powered streetlights working to not much use. You can find headlights of autos and cars serving to students leaving for their home cities. I meet a pack of guys, interested in knowing if am mad or drunk that am pacing up and down the campus at those unearthly hours! I bullshit them and walk my way down to hostel, where I find numerous faces glowing under lights from the LCDs of mobiles and PCs.
Back in my room as I wonder, how my roommate can sleep so easily in dark and humid room and ease myself on the cot, electric supply resumes. I access net for sometime and then sleep to wake up early, a habit now-a-days!

April 10 : Another Day Well Utilized

Image courtesy : Channy Yun on Flickr, check usage terms before using the image.

Well it is 9:40 and I must be there in the extra class at 10. Of course, I will be late as I have decided this in my mind, despite the fact that I have done quite good work and am satisfied with it. Leave for the class at 10:15 with Abhinav and Himanshu and accompany them in the 10 minute punishment session with few others. Enjoy the lame excuses they give to get out of it. Through the class I prefer to stay silent and communicate only with teacher and a few not so close friends! Work a bit and just get hold of all that matters to me. After class I straight away hurry to the hostel and pass sometime. A nap post lunch and small chat session before annual day function are the only activities I am indulged in. Enjoy the bath and music. The annual day function is usual formal time guzzler, could be done away with but is actually harmless. Well atleast people around me and ofcourse me too were happy poking comments at those old non-chalant responsible people enlightening us with their 'read-from-the-page' speeches. May were enjoying the meal, they say it was better than usual! A stroll till GT and I realise am quite on track when it comes to my aim of maintaining a balanced BMI, proper fit of jeans tells me so. Back in room Mahendra is hardly the one who would talk much after his dose of the day (in his words it was just 2 litre, he knows better!) and other two guys are missing, my lappy and mobile (with calls and SMSs deemed sins, no SMS in last 56 hours and hardly 2-3 outgoings!) are my buddies as I organize my stuff, everything in place! Clothes done! Room done! Sheets no immediate action needed! Hard to believe but am totally organized and a lot of time is with me and have nothing to bother but kill time chatting, watching movies, browsing net and such things. The only thing on my mind is preserving this attitude and try to focus on a short-listed pleothra of things so that some output is visible soon.

Not in a state of deeming anything good or bad these days and loving it as atleast am not confused in any case!

Wider Angle

Just 48 min past the begining of the 4th day of the week and am 'busy' laughing and sharing with Debz the last day's acts. The week has proved to be awesome so far. It is nice to be in a dream world with just very balanced doses of reality and practicality.

People around me stand perplexed, thinking this guy is in some sort of tension though am not. I have been successful in whatever I wanted and am enjoying all the things coming my way. As soon as I stopped living in a self-crafted web of emotions and temporary self pacifying thoughts and those fucking illusions am again able to look how people are managing things, and so should I.

One aspect of happiness in my case is not being in confusion and knowing exactly what I wish and not at all judging my thoughts and actions, conscious or unconcious! Day dreaming helps a lot, probably that is the purest form of my imagination, one such thought is delivering an intense hard rock performance, ending with an m9 logo flickering on the projection screen with resonating beats. Am letting myself loose in a no holds barred world these days. Am very used to seeing everyone from the same lens and for some time in past was not doing that thing. And ya as I realised am no longer willing to stick to any of my words anymore, wish to act at will and in the flow of the moment.

"Why so serious?" sounds to be theme of the time and so is my philosophy. Let loose, laugh with a wide grin and stay aloof and very importantly don't care for anyone, however dear the person is to you. Me first should be the policy else you can not think of being happy and thereby can't make people happy.

Moreover the lovely summers are at their best charms with sun playing hide and seek with clouds with the azure sky in the backdrop and winds blowing to give an effect of coolness to people soaked in sweat. I enjoy the strolls around, solitude (freedom) is preferred as my mobile accompanies me everywhere, with all kinds of music stored in its small brain. Once again my blog comes to rescue and the monotony of daily routines is broken by the blogging communities am thronging very frequently these days. All the things around seem to be just limitless and am very clear at the back of my head, only passionate obsessions to bring out the perfect work are influencing me in these times. Black has turned into my favourite colour, since it contrasts and thereby highlights the brightness everywhere.

Once again am the controller of the things that happen to me. I am the one who can change anything for good and am not the one who needs anyone around, though there presence is never regretted. One would always be welcome to this charming and magnetic persona but in these times expecting him to act against his fancies would be real mistake.

Vacations approaching quite hurriedly and am keenly waiting them though I know will miss this 'once again new found love' for this place and people as soon as I reach Delhi. Three weeks before that would be roller coaster ride as we all stand short of time with submissions, study, preparations for inspection due soon, managing the messes we have built up all around and staying in hold of things.

Though I am not short of words and thoughts but would still like to close this post as I got suggestions that long posts might bore my lovely readers, but will post back very soon, difficult to contain my excitement!

March Ahead

Image courtesy : Fabio Marini on Flickr, check usage terms before using the image.

March has dawned upon and last week past very quickly. Time is running at a rather rapid pace and life has gained its usual pace. All the ill effects of hectic and unorderly schedules have been cleansed away. The regular organised and lovely class routines are back and quite amazingly most of us like them this way only despite of them demanding us to put in all the efforts in drafting, planning and the things. Once again massive submission festival is ahead and a mass of pending submissions is with us. Still we stand united and look straight into the eyes of this menace saying just about two weeks and we will settle everything, albeit we are planning to run to our houses. The fest season of Jan and Feb was rather a spoiler but it taught a lot of stuff to me and us in general. The learnings are quite personal and at the same time very practical and much rational. Learnt that our insecurities and lack of communication mar the situations most. On most occassions we are our best friends and our worst enemies too. Came to know that we all are very similar thinking alike, acting same and living quite simple lives, and not amazingly we all hesitate in baring our selves to others and delving complete infos thereby making a lot of room for confusions and the fun that follows. The important part is I tend to understand people more, being a part of them and avoiding over indulgence simultaneously. Being a part of crowd is more fun and still having your own identity is a requirement. Ultimately we all stand united and will surely do beautiful and lovely things to make life fun for all.

Love life, flying high, busy times...

Cricket, Brawl, Outing, Eyegrabbers...

Its 4:15 in the evening, I wake up after a 2 hour long nap in the noon. A notebook with some CSS code scribbled on it lies in front of me with a pen lying uncapped on it! I move to grab it, expecting to modify it a but, only to find Aman enter my house. We sit in the room sharing some talks HTML, analytics, adsense, hosting and all that crap. 15 minutes past it is Shrey joining us, with Divya Prakash following soon! Itsy-bitsy talks on vague issues like tracking mobiles, quantum physics, crime investigations and all that go on till 5:30, when we leave to play cricket in the field near my house. Teams are decided judging the "worth and reliability" of players! Field is set, umpire takes position. Five in a team and six overs to be bowled, everyone expecting his share of bowling. After two overs it is back to square one with a self-proclaimed bowler grabbing the ball to bowl his second spell! We still waiting for our turns with jaws-dropped! Another over and the ball still is out of our reach as the team must confine opponents in a defensible score. Well last over is gifted to one of the stragglers! And the other is convinced with a lollipop "first to bat" offer! First inning ends with a score of 44 in 6 overs, as the well experienced all-rounders toiled to keep the scores low! Innings two begins with a two defensive players on pitch! Ball 5 over one, for teams' sake a struggling batsman is declared "injured" and Sehwag of team walks down to the pitch and starts to script a "match-winning" performance! Wickets keep on falling and runs come in singles! Its last over and once again batting is "gifted" to "weak-links" of the team! Making the game a mockery, they expect a player to hit 19 off last 3 balls! Anyways result was expected! And off-course the poor soul, who was not allowed to ball as well as was declared injured was me only! Unable to control myself and not withstanding this stupid kind of dominance and bias, I called quit! The acts of some guys to control the whole team like puppets occurred to me real cheap. Uttering anger to myself and defending my decision I walk down the street to my home. Somehow I try to divert myself by thinking of an outing, but still anger and probably some jealousy is there! I reach my home and ask my sister to leave for an evening out, Bangla Sahib, District Centre (DC) or Cannaught Place (CP) come the suggestions. We decide to leave for DC, to check out some stuff in a book store and have some refreshments. I take a bath still not able to forget the cricket incident, looking the mirror I enquire myself, "What the hell do you think of yourself? You shit looking, lanky figure expect someone to give you ball and bat as a mercy. If you can not fight for your rights, why the hell you expect others to care for you? Better perform and fight or stay out of the field you are not fit into! But I did protest though it went unnoticed!" Soon we leave, firstly getting some money out of the ATM and then we take a ride to DC. At DC we straight go into the bookshop called "Wordsmith" and start shuffling from one to another books! That's a nice title lets check it out! Oh great cover. Yeah am an expert reader! Some titles, like "Why Men Like Bitches!", "A Girl's Guide To Kissing A Frog.", "Roads To Mussoorie.", were pretty interesting and caught attention. We selected 4 books and left the place! By now it is 8:45 and the place is bathed in lights! We decide to walk around the commercial centre and enjoy a little. Walking around dimly lit high-rises, notorious as "suicide point of west Delhi", checking out those neon lights of billboards and beautifully clad girls was a nice experience, though to my dismay most were with their boyfriends or family members! We wish not to leave but have to reach home soon! So we take our ride back and am back to my intovert self, talking to myself and thinking that "I am the in charge, everything is in my control" putting an end to week long conflicts with my own self that if am on the right track! Thanks my friends for pushing me back to those real life feelings of jealousy, angst, tension, competition, belief and the most important "Believe in yourself". I love you all! Thanks for such a nice evening, some time is now reserved for that Criminal Psychology novel I got!

All images are protected by terms. Click on image to check real owner!

The French Kiss

Wake Up! Wake Up! sounds in my ears. I pick up my mobile to check time, its just 8:30. We have to leave for submitting the form, said my sister. After some initial hesitation I wake up and went to bath, followed by breakfast and a quick look at the newspaper. Its 9:40 and we leave. The night long drizzle has taken a break. We hire an auto-rickshaw to the Lodhi Estate. The morning rush hour traffic and water-logged roads led to traffic snarls at some bottlenecks. After some time the rickshaw is racing on a Delhi Cantt road. The area has a special place in my heart because of many childhood memories associated. The beautiful boulevard is lined with trees on both sides and is like an urban oasis, maintained by the armed forces. The stretch ends at Dhaula Kuan and now the auto driver takes a different route to avoid the heavy traffic on the Ring Road. He drives through the diplomatic by lanes of Chankya Puri and wades through some roads named on very historic characters. Driving in this area is never recommended unless you are very good at keeping track of roads or are using a highly reliable GPS tracking system. Meanwhile the rain starts again and water begins to fall on me from the sides of the auto. It is Lodhi Gardens on the right so there should be our destination but we are a bit confused now, we ask a number of people but no one seems to know the where-abouts of our destination . Somehow we manage to reach the place, it is Alliance Francias de Delhi. From outside the building seems to be quite posh and we are pleased to go "inside", as rains can intensify at any time. Across the main gate we find long queues of people gathered to submit forms even such a rainy day. The crowd is exceptionally hip and all the very best kinds of fragrances are in the air. People with a wide variety of attires are difficult to overlook and everyone has his/her distinct style. The gate-keeper at the administrative section seems to be a fool to most of the people around. We get a form and fill it and ensure that everything is done. Now we start to wait for our turn, which is supposed to come on a "first-come, first-serve" basis. We are number 45 on the list and number 20 enters the block, we are pleased that we will be free before lunch. But a discussion is going on at the door! "What is this red list and blue list?" ask some inquisitive girls to the gate-keeper. Red ones are people which are pending since last Friday and blue is today's list and as per "first-come, first-serve" blah-blah the blue ones ought to wait till the red list ends. Everyone in the blue list is now perturbed as they are dragged 64 something points in this race! A lot of confusion continues, while people keep on getting disillusioned and leaving the place to find some solace from all the trouble. Many occupy the tables at institutes's cafeteria while others grab seats in the auditorium. Mobile phones come for some handy entertainment, many are now busy chatting with their friends, listening music and playing games. In between we are surprised to find some groups chatting in fluent French as if endorsing the institutes's credentials, these are the students at the Alliance. The day seems to be getting hectic with every passing moment as most of us are not accustomed to waiting a lot, the only good thing is that there is no dearth of interaction and a lot of cultural information is available. A whole lot of informative posters on all possible places, people from different backgrounds, including kids ageing around 12-13 to moms of two! Most have one point in common the lack of managerial skills at the place, which proclaims itself to be the French embassy in India, though it is a cultural centre established by government of France. Its 12:40 and lunch time begins which will end only after 2 in the noon. Meanwhile we go for little snacks, majorly to pass-time and give rest to our feet, as we were standing for the whole day now. After the lunch we are very hopeful that the whole procedure will end soon and we will be able to leave the place very soon. A whole variety of thoughts are coming in my mind now, different plans, I need to this and that, this thing is a must and the likes. In about 50 minutes comes our turn, and my sister enters the administrative block to submit the fee but she is surprised and somewhat perturbed to know that the timing she insisted for are not available. She asks the contact-person for other timings suitable to her but to no avail. So very un-heartedly we have to drop the seat and leave the place. On way back she opts to go to her office and in the way we keep on talking about some other ways of learning the language and getting directly to the next level which begins after about 2 months. It is past 3 and sun is at full glory once again the auto is pacing on south-central Delhi's beautiful yet confusing streets. Humidity has started to take over the pleasant weathers of the morning and I am thinking about the weekend which seems to be going to very humid as MET department at Delhi has predicted unusual heavy rains over the whole week. At Dhaula Kuan we take a very long curve and join the road race on the Ring, the major artery in Delhi's road-network. Lovely to find some gasps of wind helping chill us as the auto speeds at around 60-70 kmph. In the way she leaves for her office and I continue on my way to home, the industrial landscapes of Mayapuri and regular lifestyle in many residential colonies has started to wash the memories of the French Kiss in the heart of Delhi, though I wish to retain them for a long time. I keep on thinking somehow I must be part of such legacy....

Click on images used here to find the original locations and owners. Check usage terms before reuse.

An Unpublished Diary Entry!

September 18-19’ 2007
01:19 IST

Dear Life,
Today I was awake at the time when people suggest it is good to. Actually didn’t sleep through the night, worked on the PC trying to study while listening to music and downloading online books. Later reverted to designing Active Server Pages and was happy to see some actually great results coming my way. A really good sunny morning to begin your day with, or was it the effect of Dill Mill Gaye (DMG) and DMG Community. After some early morning hustle-bustle like watering the plants it was some free time. I killed time just wishing it is 08:15 as early as possible. Newspaper was little help in the mean time. At 08:15 I went out for my morning walk and thus started my auto-suggestion session. Today sun was shining bit more harsh for a September morning and I too was not much enthusiastic and in connection of my positive spirit. Some part of my past was clinching me badly and I was becoming desperate too get rid of it. I was trying too console myself in every possible way, ready too cross all limits just to get a life I saw daily in TV serials, movies, read about in articles... But all in vain as negativity had taken over by now and I had given up (thinking weird but fancy things like writing worlds’ most creative suicide note!); with little hope still trying to get myself back. Back to home by 09:10 and I find a program on Discovery Channel showcasing how our brain makes us deceive others and even ourselves. I thought a little on the whole idea and it occurred to me as if our past bears no value in present but carrying it with you can have bearings on your present as well as future. I concluded it is not worth repenting over the past and it is better to concentrate on future and make people happy. Mean while I fell asleep while watching the television to wake up only late in the evening at around 18:30. Straightaway went to have bath (really stupid, but can’t help it!). Later spent some time on PC updating my project and tracking stock market’s today’s changes. Finally here come my favorite TV serials DMG and Love Story and yes the ‘dinner’(actually lunch too), both providing some great stuff today. A night walk followed by few Mathematics questions and am back with my PC, DMG Community logged in my Orkut account. Spent some time writing and reading threads in the community and now it is this time (02:17) and still am not feeling sleepy. Don’t know what will follow but will try to study a bit more and yes DMG and my project will be there...

- Manik

My New Year Resolutions : Day 1

Image Courtesy : jonolist, check usage terms before using the image.

Like always and almost everyone I too made some new year resolutions. Nothing special, but an old itinerary I made in late August of 2007. So here goes the list and what happened to it...

• Wake up on or before 9 in morning : Obviously, I failed.


• Check for some early morning television : Oops another failure*


• Study for atleast 6 hours daily : Day 1 was partial success, but day 2 was a tragedy!


• Leave everything and roam around after 7 in evening : It got to be a success as I got Traveller's Foot Syndrome!


• Television after 10 : A huge success, how could I miss those shows?


• Night Browsing : Hit for my nocturnal being, proofs are here only!

Still I keep on moving as that's the best I can do, making 1440x1024 claims to give 1024x768 results. It was an average begining this year. But who cares if results are gonna be good???

Cut Short

Image Courtesy : Violator3 on Flickr, check usage terms before using the image.

We constantly try to get rid of our short-comings and many a time do things to hide our short-falls, but in the process we somehow accentuate the very same weaknesses of our-selves. A person with receding hair line would try to grow his hairs long or a person with glares to get rid of those. A person with average appearance can go for plastic surgery or in nut-shell there are always short-cuts available but those do not help in most cases. In the mean-time we tend to hurt ourselves. But the real way of living life is to laugh at the problems thrown to us by life. So as a new year resolution we can pledge to live and enjoy our lives to the best and try to suppress the negativity as we ought to highlight the positive. Lets cut short the pain, unless you enjoy it as a way of living.

Happy New Year to all my friends.