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The melodious tone of alarm shakes me out of sleep, its 6:30 am, but I prefer not to leave the comfort of my blanket. Resolving to wake up at 8, in time for 9 am class I continue with second lap of my sleep. I skip the one hour class at 9 and another one at 10 is marred by the absence of teacher. During the 10 am session I continue to complete pending works and submissions for the post lunch session. Meanwhile I unwantedly try to ignore some real nice friends of mine, acting arrogant and showing off some real crap negative attitude, which I am bound to regret at a later time when I find time to sit back and look at the day's proceedings. Don't right or wrong I just was trying to isolate myself, since I somewhere was learning that I was diverging from the real me self and becoming obsessed and over-dependent on some people, whom I like the most in this whole campus. On other thought I tend to think that this may be the effect of hectic times we all are going through. Last two days I simply skipped breakfasts and lunches to survive only on dinner stuff. Waking up early to sleep late is a routine. Such situations are expected to induce serious mood swings in most people and I feel am one of them. But I regret the uncontrolled nature of mine that sometimes makes me so much disillusioned that I just act absurd and even end up blaming myself. Moreover the self-imposed performance anxiety, serious obsession of doing something even though knowing that I am 99.99% sure to fail in the stint took serious toll on my mood on several ocassions in the past week. Though I was able to recover several times but the thing is still not ready to leave me and so am posting this stuff to take some burden of myself. The fucking selective introvertive genetic disorder will hamper my prospects of growth on several ocassions and am very less likely to act out something to clear the crap that it is. Hope I survive the crap and able to enjoy the fun that this crap and whole stuff provides.
Signing off! Expecting to come back with a LOLZ style B+ post! :D
14 comments:
u are absolutely right in expressing your thoughts as i observed u on several occasions walkin alone in the dark in search of somethin u dont wanna have!!
Nicely expressed ur emotions...
Specially i liked the 2nd last line... :-)
Thanks for the comments buddies, though I forced both of you to read and comment :P Still thanks for standing beside and ya let me loose this senti stuff soon. How about a chick chase soon??? May be GT or newhere, lets run from the life and find some place to escape. Even lucky people like me have turbulent times!!! Think of those living in miserly conditions elsewhere. Chalo chado....
Hmm...driven by emotions...i rarely find such a post of yours..you always have been looking forth to the positive sides...
One advice..dont think on anything after you had committed it..it makes the burden heavy..neither do think much before...
let the time carry it off with you...and at a time you will feel it has all been perfect..it couldnot have been more perfect than it has been...
Even i had faced the same stuff duting my college days..but that didnt meant i leave it aside as crap..we even enjoyed the crap...and we made fun of our own dissabilities that make me miss those old days now... these are the days you will remember your whole life time...so just let it loose..let it go the way it wants to go..you wont get a second chance dear!...
And hopefully next time I see a post of yours it would be the same positivity brewing in you even of the situation you are in..!
Live life hard...rock it...! Kya pata KHNH[;)].....
N never leave the friends aside..they are the ones you will treasure all your life!
An advice 4u[;)]...4m my life in IIT for you
"Peace maro- Load maat le".....tu bahut jyada sochta hai"
Brillantly writtn..and i got to learn some good words you know[:)]...!!
Good place to keep out the frustration..dil khol k likha kariyo!
manik...tum bhi [:o]...gosh..rilli well written...sachi mei lykd da post...keep on expressin' keep on bloggin' [:)]
mate u r not the lone sufferer!!!rest just write watever u wanna...u know we like watever u write...and ur idea of chasing a chick at GT is fine,
run lola run,
away from this sun...
I know m not the lone one! But probably this post mouths opinions of most of us, but still some part is unique to me.
Anyways thanks buddies for being with. This stupid is back in spirit and would try his best to present a lively account of things and make scene all bright. Because we are the best and now there is no need to fuck the rest.
It is common phase in every student’s life! We want some space 2 prove or pursue something...... Nothing wrong in that !therefore stop blaming yourself....
Do whatever u want without loosing your identity and enjoy every moment of it!
Becoz “jo hota hai ache k liye hoa hai”B+ lolz
picture abhi baki hai mere dost lolz!abhi tooh bahot kuch jhelna hai 2ze coll me !all d best![;)][:D]
waise dieting q kar raha hai 2?[:P]
Mast ladki! Kahan gayab rehti hai. Foo beta advice achi hai and ya chota sa lag tha, and you know abhi pata chala ki kuch nahi tha, just fever ki vajah se server down tha, abhi recovering from the panga and getting mast!
LOLZ..[:D]
So manik how is everything going on :-> lolz.. Well as you told me that you have a cool group in your college so I guess there is no need to burst out anger as when you are with your friends, Situation like this can be overcomed..That is what I feel..[:D]
Mann you are the one whom I never saw being so much Frustrated :-L..You've always greeted others and I guess yourself too with a positive attitude so why this kind of negative stuff..[:O]
Be +ve mann and watch some good english flicks. that will surely help you out.B-)
Hope to see more from your side soon..
Enjoy mann
Neil..
Well not frustration buddy! And ya tell ya group hanged up in mess so lil contact. Its just the hard soul that refuses to give up and is obsessed to take pangas.
And english flick bole toh, saali neend mein vo bhi rok nahi pati. Pink Panther dekhte-2 so gaya. 21 dekhi aaj Aamir, Jaane Bhi Do Yaron.City of Ember poori line laga di movies ki buddy.
And bhen de takke aa ke dekh kinna maza ve iss lyf vich v! :P
Sorry 4 the bhen de thing :P Bole toh obsession. Laughing over the attention I grabbed and faltu panti I did whole week!!:D
saale sab barbaadiya hai--------
y u think so much dudue--jus b d manik- manik d moron,d asshole-- jo dusro ki baja daalta hhai, uar yaha dekho-teri khud k baji padi hai........
B+ yaar,d way Iam, d way ppl want you 2 b-d way you wan yourslf 2 b....
jus chill yaar.........
bhaad me gayi DUNIYADAARi........
aur haan__you hav 2 pay me bak fr dis advic,, hav 2 help me out in writin PUNJABI msgs fr a sweet frn f mine........
hey this is ankit this side ,abhishek suggested me to read your blog...
you write really well
emotions, very well expressed
use of language, superb
a pensive state of mind , a very common phenomena...something everyone of us can relate to...
but dont be disheartened i am sure something good would come out of this crap(oxymoron,ain't it ??!) :)
Truly Oxymoron. And a coincidence,today only learnt this word.
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