Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Image courtesy : J O I D on Flickr, check usage terms before using the image.
The melodious tone of alarm shakes me out of sleep, its 6:30 am, but I prefer not to leave the comfort of my blanket. Resolving to wake up at 8, in time for 9 am class I continue with second lap of my sleep. I skip the one hour class at 9 and another one at 10 is marred by the absence of teacher. During the 10 am session I continue to complete pending works and submissions for the post lunch session. Meanwhile I unwantedly try to ignore some real nice friends of mine, acting arrogant and showing off some real crap negative attitude, which I am bound to regret at a later time when I find time to sit back and look at the day's proceedings. Don't right or wrong I just was trying to isolate myself, since I somewhere was learning that I was diverging from the real me self and becoming obsessed and over-dependent on some people, whom I like the most in this whole campus. On other thought I tend to think that this may be the effect of hectic times we all are going through. Last two days I simply skipped breakfasts and lunches to survive only on dinner stuff. Waking up early to sleep late is a routine. Such situations are expected to induce serious mood swings in most people and I feel am one of them. But I regret the uncontrolled nature of mine that sometimes makes me so much disillusioned that I just act absurd and even end up blaming myself. Moreover the self-imposed performance anxiety, serious obsession of doing something even though knowing that I am 99.99% sure to fail in the stint took serious toll on my mood on several ocassions in the past week. Though I was able to recover several times but the thing is still not ready to leave me and so am posting this stuff to take some burden of myself. The fucking selective introvertive genetic disorder will hamper my prospects of growth on several ocassions and am very less likely to act out something to clear the crap that it is. Hope I survive the crap and able to enjoy the fun that this crap and whole stuff provides.
Signing off! Expecting to come back with a LOLZ style B+ post! :D